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Bombay Velvet

                                                                        BOMBAY VELVET

What do I say?
Does anyone remember the experience of seeing a bowl of Halwa loaded with dry fruits and piping hot, giving off steam and then you diving in with a spoon and blowing on it furiously to cool it down? Then chomping your bite only to discover that there is a bitter almond in it? Thereby ruining your entire experience? Well BV is exactly like that….. Months of anticipation, getting red hot tickets and then the bitterness. Sigh!
When will these crazy experiments stop?
The bitter almond in question here is the bad script, there is no other word, it is bad through and through. The loose ends aren’t tied up and the protagonists have no clue whether they are coming or going. The only fine thing is the way Bombay of yesteryears has been shot. But that sure isn’t enough. I needed more! We all deserved better.
My problem with Johnny Balraj is that there is no defined skill set. Is he all brawn aka Sunny Deol of yesteryears or is he a winning mix of brains and brawn like Sultan (Ajay Devgan ) in Once upon a time? What exactly is his passion? Money or power or Rosie? And Rosie when she speaks is so unutterably intolerable. She doesn’t even look her part. Where is the smouldering fire, the angst?
She is a victim of child abuse and yet can arouse no sympathy. There are definite Anurag Kashyap sparks but no roaring fire like Gangs of Wasseypur or Ugly. Wow! Is it the same guy who made all these? Unbelievable! What is believable is that the movie needed 22 days of re-shooting. It actually could have done with loads more.
Kay Kay Menon is wasted, Karan Johar is chilling in bits, Satyadeep Mishra was impressive and Manish Chaudhary was competent. An inane interaction between Karan and Ranbir has him saying- Rosie mai kya tha jo mujh main nahi? Oh is it the AIB roast all over again?
Watch at your own risk, I didn’t like it at all.
I wish I had just seen Piku all over again or waited for Tanu weds Manu -2


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