Minia's Mundane Musings

I will forgive you a lot, I will forgive you anything, I will forgive you everything. But never ever will I forgive your silences. You can bleed me, You can mutilate me, You can humiliate me. I will forgive it all. . . . . But your silences, I will never forgive. You can hurt me, You can whip me, You can ruin me, And I shall still forgive you. But your silences, No! I shan't forgive those. You can isolate me, You can push me away, Nothing will stop me loving you, I will forgive it all.... But your silences are unforgivable..... You can take away your love, You can take away your care, You can take away your respect, I will forget and forgive.... But your silences I shall punish.... You can push me away, You can reject my love, You can tell me not to care, I will still be able to forgive you, But your silences are an unforgivable crime.... You can take away my peace, You can take away my happiness, You can take away my will to live, I wi

I wish you weren't the first thing I think of when I wake up. I wish I didn't fall asleep with your name on my lips. I wish it weren't only your calls that mattered. I wish it weren't only your messages that I didn't leave unanswered. I wish it wasn't your voice that overrode all the others in my head. I wish it wasn't your face that haunts me. I wish I could stop missing you even when I am in the company of others. I wish I could stop wanting you even when I know you aren't mine to long for. I wish I could think only of your faults and hate you. I wish I could stop loving your idiosyncrasies. I wish I didn't understand your conflict. I wish I didn't understand your need to push me away. I wish I could make you stop hurting me. I wish I could make you stop hurting you. I wish I knew how to share your burden. I wish I knew how to make the pain stop. I wish you would let me care. I wish you would let me love.

Stop Loving The problem is never how to love? How much to love isn't an issue either. The biggest problem is how to stop? Turning on the switch is actually ridiculously simple. Sometimes the switch snaps on. At other times it drops down with excruciating slowness. Sometimes there is fuzzy logic involved. But once the switch is on, you will find it a herculean task to turn it off. However slowly the penny drops, once it is slotted, it's almost impossible to retrieve. The penny at times hits a jackpot, And your life is filled with riches. At times the penny yields nothing and you move on. But the tough part is when it was your last penny, and now it's gone and the casino is the only winner and you are left with less than nothing. Whatever the case, you aren't seeing that penny again. Falling in love is like being at the airport. Most of us are able to board the flight correctly, But some of us end up missing our flights, In spite of doing it all right.

I didn't want anything to corrupt my post about Kesari and so I am writing this separately. At the Movies, surely it's not to tough to behave properly. The guy sitting next to me, was quite voluble, and I had to struggle to not let him spoil my movie experience. Also the heights was that he actually took the popcorn and water that I had ordered for myself. It was the server's fault, but surely this nitwit didn't have to eat it, just coz it was free. And when asked why he took it, he calmly said that he thought it was complimentary. Oh My God! How entitled do you think you are that you were the only one in the entire effing theatre to be offered free food? Did you think you had won some secret popcorn lottery? Or did you think that it was sent over by a secret admirer?  And on top of all that to hear you chomping your way through it, punctuated with burps like jhankar beats was the absolute pits. Thank God Inox is my domain and I was able to get another seat. And

First and foremost, anyone amongst us who has ever cracked a Sardar joke needs to go and see this one. Bravery and valour are by no means the purview of any community or religion, but by all that is holy I swear to you this movie showcases the Sikh community such that you will never forget. At the outset let me tell you that this review will be long and rambling. So quit whilst you are ahead. Also the movie is quite explicit so you might want to think twice before taking kids. The pluses for me were: - the amazing cinematography. - the fact that I knew none of the supporting cast, and each man blended in superbly. - Akshay's best performance ever, and all you can see on screen is Ishar Singh. You know where all the awards are headed this year. The way this man has honed his craft is exemplary and his spectrum is all inclusive given that next we shall see him in a masala entertainer - Suryavanshi. - Anurag Singh the director hasn't resorted to a non-linear narrative, in

There's a stringless kite fluttering in the breeze. Once the kite was a glorious thing. It had a long tail fluttering behind it. And it's spine was strong and supple. It's frame was sturdy and strong. It's colors were pure and vibrant. It wasn't the prettiest of kites, but it was full of life and hope. It flew strong and proud above tree tops, and balconies and the tallest of buildings. It skimmed the skies and flirted with the heavens. It spoke the language of the rushing winds, And rode alongside the clouds. Once it submitted to a little boy. The boy became the kite's anchor. The kite loved the flights it could achieve when nestled in his hands, But the boy couldn't handle the kite. The kite flew fast and wild. The boy struggled to keep up. The kite's glassed thread ripped from his fingers, It cut his hand, It made him bleed, It made him ache. The kite flew far away. The boy cried over his cut, But soon forgot the pain, Moved o

I had once attended a lecture by Amish Tripathi, and one of the questions that was posed to him at the end was regarding the potion of immortality ( Somras) mentioned in his book - The Immortals of Meluha. He was asked if why there was no research being done in the field of anti-aging drugs, and I distinctly remember his answer. He said that there was humongous amount of work being done, in countries like France and Switzerland, but that the drugs would be pointless commercially. Simply because even if they did delay the aging process and did promote longevity, how would human beings find the resources to live that long? It was so true! I mean if you are planning to live till 100, you better be sure that you can work until you are at least 80! In the eventuality that one can't work that long and doesn't have the wherewithal to take care of basic needs, it will mean that we rely on state funded care, or then on the charity of well-meaning strangers. And if none of these ar

It is a phenomenon which I first started observing when my niece was born, and we started being extra polite to each other and started referring to each other as " Aap", simply so that she could pick up the correct tonality of language. It's not as though we were rude to each other prior to that, but certainly we were very careful about how we addressed each other and were certain to use, Thank yous, Pleases and Sorrys like they were going out of style. It led me to think how much nicer it would be if we could use these all the time and lighten the atmosphere. Instead we end up being at our worst behavior with the ones who matter the most and treat them the most shabbily. The most common place where we could be on our best behavior would be the dining table, and yet it's the one place that we end up being the rudest. "Please pass the salt"; "Thank you for the bread Oh Lord!" etc etc etc. It's amazingly simple, if we could but try. - Than

What could make you more vulnerable than a call which you want to make, but which you know will be met with only silence? So if I make this call over and over again, does it make me a romantic? Does it mean  I am in love with this person? Does this mean I have no self respect? Do I really care ? Would I make this call over and again? Hell Yes!!!! Every single time..... What could make you more vulnerable than making a clean slate of your feelings and then being rebuffed? So if I still made clear my feelings over and over again and was rebuffed time and  time again, does it mean I am a doormat? Does this mean I am a masochist? Hell yeah! I would tell you what you mean to me each day of the week and twice on a Sunday! What could make you more vulnerable than letting him know that he owns you heart and soul, and then having him evaluate pros and cons? So if the Cons came up stronger than the Pros, and I still clung to his sleeve would it make me a needy dumbass? Hell Yes!

Did you ever realize that the echoes are the loudest and the longest when the hollowness is the deepest? Did you ever realize that the echoes are sometimes not the same as the original? Did it ever occur to you that the echo of laughter could be a wail? Did you ever hear a giggle turn into a sob? Did you ever hear a smile turning into a desperate cry for help? Have you ever heard a loving whisper ricochet across a hollow heart and echo back as a broken voice? Have you ever heard a lover's hug crawl across a dark space and return to make you feel wretched? Have you ever seen the warmth of a caress echo back as a haunting loneliness? Have you ever felt the tender clasp of a beloved turn into a grasping nothingness? Can you see how the echoes of everything turn into nothing? Can you see how borrowed time turns to ashes? Can you see how a fractured fate returns to echo as shards of sorrow? Can you see how the echoes of all that is impossible, remain i

Oh how long this list is.... But without being judgemental, there are a few things which can push my buttons like nothing else can. I mean what's with birthdays and cakes? Who started this? Why do we pay good money to buy these super adulterated lumps of lard? On the 8th of March each year I heave a sigh of relief coz thankfully the birthday season amongst my family and friends is finally over. Do we realise how damaging to the agriculture industry cakes are? And here I am citing just the mass produced ones. But the ones we do at home are ok. And we should all do only home made cakes. The other variety consumes agriculture and industrial resources and are not eco friendly at all. So avoid.... Another thing that irks me endlessly is people driving in the centre of the road, converting two lane roads into a single road... So who died and appointed you Mayor of the county? Please move your car encased arse to one side.... People talking in phone in movies, or munching loudly,

I have no time limit and no fixed slot for you. Never have! Never will! You on the other hand have me neatly slotted. You speak to me only when time permits. You have fixed a time limit, And you have fixed frequencies. I am aware the slots shall keep reducing. I am aware the frequency shall keep decreasing. That's alright my love. I am your pass time. You encompass me, All I think of is you, All I want is you, You are in my prayers, And you are the answer to my prayers. I am your Saturday thought, And your Sunday timepass, I am the crutch you hate and need, I am the splint your broken heart needs, I am the splint that shall be cast aside once the heart is mended. That's alright my love, I am your pass time. You are in my weekdays, You are in my work place, You are in my heart and soul, You are the reason I smile, And you are why I see the sunrise. I am your temporary love, I am the tea bag in your tea service, I am the voice that puts you to sleep,

The conversations are all aborted now, They now have a time limit. The words are minced, They are untrue. The conversations are all fake now, Neither says what they actually want to, The silences occupy more space than the words, These silences are the only truth. The conversations are all guarded now, The need to connect is still as urgent as ever, The need to know all the details still predominates, But the tongue hesitates. The conversations are filled with inanities, The voice is modulated, The tone is carefully selected, And yet the hollowness echoes. The conversations are all stilted, But the words overflow, Never before did it occur to me how effectively words can act as a shield, Never before did I realise how well meaningless words can camouflage meaningful silences.

One can pretend to stop caring, But it doesn't actually stop. It seeps through the cracks, It oozes. One can pretend to stop missing, But the loneliness doesn't leave you, It forges it's way through, It still makes you hurt. One can pretend to stop wanting, But the needing doesn't end, It keeps spreading it's tentacles, It still makes you reach out. One can pretend to stop loving, But the heart hurts, The words might reject, But the heart knows the truth, It makes you cling on.

I have met an eagle with broken wings. Once he soared in the skies . Once he touched the moon Now his wings are broken, He takes no flight. He doesn't moult anymore. He is living with dry feathers. He doesn't hunt anymore. He has made his eyrie his world. His eyes are dull and full of despair. He cringes on being touched. He has forgotten how to keep himself warm. I wish I had known him when he was whole. I wish I had seen him flying high in the clear blue skies. I wish I could have stood on the ground and admired him from afar. I wish I had seen him hunt for prey. I wish I had seen him swoop in for the kill. I wish I had seen him feeding his family. I wish I had seen him teaching his eaglets to fly. I wish I had seen him somersaulting in the skies with his mate. I wish I hadn't seen this broken eagle... I wish I could see the eagle take flight again. I wish I could see him dipping and diving and being the master of the skies. I wish I could splint h

Do we really need to talk? You know what I shall say, And I know what you will say. Do we really need to call each other? You know what you want to say, And I never am allowed to say what I really want to. Do we really need messages? I know you don't want them, And I know they will be deleted. Do we need really need to know how our days went? I know you will have done whatever you wanted, And you know I would have followed your instructions to the letter. Do we really need to reaffirm that this journey has no destination? I know you will not want to hear my view, And I shall choke down my opinions. So do we need to communicate? Or do we need to shut down?

You and me, We are nothing, We mean nothing, There's no Us! We are a summary of  nothingness. We are a summary of infinite possibilities, And yet we will exist in a summary of zero outcomes. We, you and me, not us, Are incomplete apart, And yet together we are a summary of triviality. We are in a fragile bubble,You and me, The world shimmers and shines through this bubble, And yet our summary is consumed by darkness. We are in limbo, You and me, We sway in a united rhythm, And yet our summary is a masterpiece of unsynchronized steps. We are a series of love songs, you and me, We sing in harmony, And yet our summary is engulfed in discordant notes The pointlessness of you and me overwhelms me, The unexplored potential of Us saddens me, And yet somehow an alternative summary escapes me.

The disease and the cure are often the same thing, How strange it is that the very thing that causes you pain is capable of taking it away too! Indeed, the best cure for a hangover is alcohol itself. Hair of the Dog ….. A rabid beast’s bite is best treated by the hair of the infected animal itself. A thorn is used to remove a thorn. A bite elsewhere takes away the sting of a hurt toe, Anti-venoms are made from infected beasts, And antibiotics are made from fungi, While vaccines are made from the same microbe it is meant to act against. Fallow land is made fertile by leaving it unsowed for a while, Before seeds are planted and the farmer can then step back and watch the fronds sway in the breeze. A forest fire is brought under control by setting another fire, Blasts are managed by setting off a bigger blast than before, thereby sucking away all the oxygen. A crooked politician is best managed by a still crookeder one! A mother’s slap can be

There is a wilderness in my soul. A wilderness that refuses to be tamed. It is a lonely place. It is a place of needs and wants. It needs nothing and yet wants it all. It is full of thorns and broken promises. There are trees that tower. They are tall and sturdy. They kiss the sky. And then fall back rebuffed. The wilderness is a place of peace and comfort, It gives shelter to the tired and weary, It hides the sins of men and beast. And the crimes of passion, And yet it lies exposed itself. The wilderness is at oneself with itself. It stores the weeds of sorrow, Sorrows of it's own, And sorrows of others, The weeds choke my soul. Animals large and small run about the wilderness, There is food aplenty to nourish them, They eat and flourish, But ah, the undergrowth stifles their growth, The undergrowth smothers my soul. The paths of this wilderness are many and varied, Some curved, Some are scenic, Some have travelers, Others are deserted, Many have

I believe firmly that a human being's default settings are set to Happy. Even though we may enter the world squalling and squawking with our faces red and angry, we strive for happiness every moment after that. Every time we cry, it's to restore a default setting of happiness, when we want to be dry, we cry and when we want to be fed we cry, and when we want to be cuddled, we cry. Hence my hypothesis that we endeavour to achieve our default setting of happiness and contentment even when we are crying.  In life too, it's similar. Let's mince no words - Life's a bitch! Period. How we want to deal with it is what makes us unhappy and happy. My mantra is hurt no one and move on as rapidly as possible. I know it's easier said than done. But it's do-able. Consider this, mostly we never set out to hurt anyone intentionally. Also we never ever do something having decided to fail. But then Shit Happens! And we end up hurting others, or getti

Some of us are Givers Some of us are Takers Some of us suck at Giving Some of us suck at Receiving The fact that one can't be a Giver is ok. But the fact that one can't be a Taker is a little tough to understand. Shouldn't Receiving be easier than Giving? I mean, one has to do nothing. Just receive for crying out aloud. Just stand still and be showered with Love. Just sit down and be Cared for! It does not hurt, I promise! By a baby's tiny bum I swear! Being loved or cared for doesn't harm you. Be at a deluge of love, Or a drizzle of care, Take it! What if the Giver ceases to exist and can Love you no more, What if the only care you get is from across the worlds? Wont you miss the Love and Care? Wont you miss whatever you could have got? So stretch out your hands now, Feel the rain of love and care, Clutch the raindrops in your palm, You never know when these drops will dry up, Hoard the feel of these drops, Remember their caress on your pa

Nurture and Nourish Buy a pot. Fill it with soil. Add a little manure. Sprinkle in Love. Sow the seeds. Water daily. Turn over the soil. Shower it with Love. Guard it from the harsh sun. Save it from the pouring rain. Warm it in the winters. Cocoon it in your Love. Put in sticks to support the seedlings. Surround it with a fence. Shoo away the predatory birds. Lay down your life for it if need be. Stay awake to keep it company. Tear away the thorny weeds. Let the drops of your blood nurture it. Stand over it like a scarecrow to defend it. Stand aside, Watch the flowers bloom, Stand aside, Do not dictate what color they should be, Just love what your seeds have become. Stand vigilant, Watch the fruits ripen, Accept whatever shape they are, Accept whatever size they are, Just love what your seeds have given you. Just Love.......... Unconditionally....

Tears It's been a while since my eyes were dry , I can not remember the last time my pillow wasn't soaked in tears. I can not remember when it was last that my morning did not start with a whimper and a tear rolling down my cheek. I try to remember the good times, but they just make me cry harder. I try to type through misty eyes. Then with tears I delete it all. With watery eyes I scroll through my contacts and see your number, Then with tear wet fingers I close the app. With moist eyes I check for messages across all apps, Then sobbing helplessly I exit them all. After all what would happen? Are there enough tissues to soak my tears? Will these ever stop? Shall my heart ever be pain free? When will these tears stop? If they will stop only when my heart stops beating, then so be it... I will it all to stop now... Now please ...

In your life, I can be an entire book I can be an epic tome. I can be a fast paced thriller. I can be a lurid erotic read. I can be a courtroom drama. I can be a soul wrenching saga. I can be a frothy Mills & Boon. Tell me your choice and I shall write that. In your life, I can be a short story, It could have a twist in the climax. It could have a happily ever after. It could end in a cliff-hanger. It could end on a bittersweet note. It could rip out your soul. Tell me what you want and I shall type it. In your life, I can be a chapter in the book of your life. It could be the best part of the book of your life. It could be the worst part of the book of your life. It could be the most well read chapter in the book of your life. It could be the least visited one in the book of your life. Tell me how you want it and I shall edit it. In your life, I could be a bookmark, I could be the feather of an exotic bird, I could be the picture of your dear one, I cou

Burn me, Turn me to ash. It's ash that comes after fire, This fire that smote me, The fire that engulfed all that was good, The fire that left behind acrid tears and burning insides. The vengeful fire is gone now, All that remain are the ashes, Dark, repellent, pungent,useless, Unclaimed and unneeded. Do for me now what you couldn't do for me in life, Give me peace and freedom. Pick up the ashes carefully, Let none cling to your hand. Spill each inconsequential speck into the wind, Let each particle spread far and wide. Spill them high, very high! Let them fall apart. Spill the ashes in the wind, Let them find no resting place. Spill the ashes with a shake, Let them not connect to each other. Spill the ashes violently, Let no traces of me remain. Spill the ashes into the wilderness, Let them touch nothing and no one. Spill the ashes, Let no trace of life remain. Spill the ashes, Let the futility of this life be reflected. Burn me and

Badla This movie is a true copy of the Spanish movie " The Invisible Guest." It's a tense suspense drama, told in a non-linear style. It's a difficult style to pull off, even if it's a copy. Two protagonists face off in a closed room. And a large part of the Movie has only these 2 in play. But when the 2 protagonists are of the ilk of Amitabh Bachchan and Tapsee Pannu, the momentum pulls you along. Don't expect this to be another Kahaani, coz it ain't. Not by a long shot. I think Sujoy Ghosh can never give us anything close to that ever again. Still I  enjoyed watching the veterans Amitabh and Amrita in action. Tapsee Pannu has done better. Why waste a brilliant actor like Manav Kaul in such an insipid role like this is beyond me! Its an average movie and what really was missing were the wise cracks and sass which characterized a movie like Andhadhun. Also there was loads of detail and it felt that each time I chewed on a popcorn kernel I mis

What is the purpose of having a Woman's Day? By accepting wishes on this day, don't women understate the fact that the remaining 364 days do not belong to us? Is our womanhood not to be celebrated and respected throughout the year? And Dear Ladies why are we calling each other on this day? Why are we texting each other? Is it an anniversary of a death or of a birth? Instead can't we just be supportive of each other throughout the year? This day I am sure crawled out of the backside of a condescending man's patriarchal mindset! Are there going to be no women raped today? Does Women's Day mean that no women will get their bums pinched on public transport? Or does it mean that today girls will not have to hold books and bags to their chests in crowded arenas? Will today at least all women be spoken to with love and respect? Historically it is connected to Women's Rights. But really in today's day and age it smacks of seeking external validation and I am

Lets bear witness to each other's life. The Good,  The Bad,  The Ugly Let's see it all. Let's be judgemental Let's be biased Let's be hateful And let's be hated Let's be enemies Let's be friends Let's be strangers And let's be lovers Let's hold hands Let's hit out Let's hug And let's kiss Let's exchange sorrows Let's exchange happiness Let's exchange barbs And let's share Let's whisper Let's shout Let's gesture But let's never be silent Let's be angry Let's be nasty Let's be sarcastic Let's encourage Let's reveal all Let's hide nothing Let's camouflage nothing You be my witness And I shall be yours

Why does this pain feel so good? Let me break you down into a tiny thousand pieces Let me bleed you dry Let me mix your pieces with mine Let me intermingle our blood Let me create a new us. Let me see you writhe in pain the way I do Let me place each cut deeper than before. Let me suck your marrow out. Let me hear you moan and cry. Let me see if you can feel pain the way I do. This pain that I feel is a reflection of us. Let me see you feel it. Let me see if you like it. Let this pain that is a part of me become a part of you. Let me create a new us.

A CITY IN RUINS It's past the witching hour, As my lonely heart cruises, the silent streets of a sleeping city. The muted barking of dogs can be heard and echoes the loneliness of my heart. The garbage littering the streets is the detritus that is my life. A curse hangs over me,  The curse of karma! The curse of deeds that cannot be undone. The curse of the tears that I have caused, The wrenching sobs still echo through the city alleys, imparting ill-will. The city has no redeeming features at this hour, It is just a shadowy landscape, The shadows could be concealing grand structures, Or like the landscape of my mediocre life could be a mass of nothingness. The city has no tall buildings, It has no great ruins, It has no attraction for tourists, It definitely attracts no settlers, It is just a cesspool! Is it why it feels familiar to me? The city entrances no one, The city has no refuge for anyone, The city once had a beautif

बस  मै निचोड़ लून हर लम्हा हर पल तिजोरी मे बंद कर लूँ समय तो रुकेगा नही मै ही जुगाड कर लूं एक एक मोती उठा कर पीरों लूँ इस लड़ी की फिर माला जपु हर सांस से तुम्हारा नाम लूँ हर निवाले मे तुम्हारा नमक चिड़कु हर कोने मे तुम्हे देखूं हर टाँके मे तुम्हारी साँसे बूनु हर कदम पे तुम्हारा हाथ पकड़ लूँ हर आहट पे तुम्हे ढूंढ लूँ हर करवट मे तुम्हे छु लूँ हर किस्से कहानी मे तुम्हे अमर कर दूँ हर बद दुआ से तुम्हे दूर कर दूं हर मन्नत मे तुम्हारा नाम ले लूँ हर रास्ते मे तुम्हारी मंज़िल बनु हर मंज़िल पे तुम्हारा घर बन जाऊं हर आंसू तुम्हारा निगल जाऊँ हर चुभन को सहला दूँ हर मोती को पीरों लूँ और इसकी मै माला जपूँ

Mowgli 2018 It was more than 30 odd years that we first heard the hauntingly cryptic chants "chaddhi pehen ke phool khila hai" and for me that has always been the touchstone for all subsequent editions of Mowgli/ Jungle Book. This latest one by Netflix is on an overload of Anurag Kashyap steroids. It's dark and edgy and touches True North on its moral compass. Ever wonder what would have happened to Rose and Jack had they survived the Titanic? Well if this latest version of the Jungle Book is anything to go by, they would go on to become Frank and April from the Revolutionary Road. I, 80% liked it and 20% loved it. Overall I think it's definitely a one time watch. The "chaddhi" clad Mowgli is aware of the debt he owes his foster family and it's not all laugh and play for him. He is learning to be a warrior and the harsh realities of life are bruising and battering him. . . . Literally! When confronted with a tragedy, he uses his skills and knowledg

Forks Ah, it is so isn't it? That life is full of forks. And dear Bandersnatch you are all about the roads less traveled. But for now I need to rest my weary eyes and regroup a bit and you dear Bandersnatch need to be thrust away for a while, because for a while I need to tread the paths that are well traveled and have fellow passengers whom I can relate to. I shall be back to visit you soon. Till then.... Hasta Manana #netflix

Tum raho Grumpy Mai Banu Happy Tum raho Sad Mai Banu Khush Tum raho Hopeless Mai Banu Hopeful Tum raho Wary Mai Banu Brave Tum raho Conservative Mai Banu Radical Tum raho Naughty Mai Banu Innocent Tum raho Confused Mai Banu Crystal Clear Tum raho Uljhe Mai jaun Sulajh Tum raho Strong and Silent Mai Banu Chirpy and Clingy Tum raho Mere Mai Banu tumhari

The silences are deafening. The snide comments I can handle. The rudeness is welcome too. Taunts are ok too, coz I generally retaliate. But the silences are heartbreaking..... The calls you cut because you are upset with me are intolerable..... Your silence destroys me like nothing else can. Your silence has a superpower which is my kryptonite. Your words keep me sane. Why is it that those are so sparse? Your silences silence my soul. They leave me helpless. Is that how you want it to be?

This pain tears me apart This pain makes me alive This pain of knowing you love me keeps me afloat This pain of loving you silently sinks me This pain of knowing you care for me makes me want to spin This pain of not being able to care for you makes me want to die This pain of knowing how much you give up for me keeps me sane This pain of not being able to reciprocate drives me insane This pain of knowing how much you ache for me grounds me This pain of not being able to tell you how much I ache for you drives me wild This pain of you caressing me centres me This pain of not being able to touch you destroys me This pain of you calling me lights me up This pain of not being able to talk to you crushes me This pain of you being invested in me makes me a better person This pain of not being there for you ruins me This pain that I give you makes me soulless This pain that I can't share with you makes me lifeless

Holding hands It is a gesture of possession and protection. It is a gesture of ownership and intimacy. It is a commitment and a bond. It is a declaration and an assimilation. To hold a hand is to give love. To hold a hand is to give care. To hold a hand is to help. To hold a hand is to support. To hold a hand is to anchor oneself. To hold a hand is to find security. To hold a hand is to be a part of someone's life To hold a hand is to make someone special. To hold a baby's hand is to be a raft amidst an ocean. To hold a gnarled and wrinkled hand is to be a shield. To hold a friend's hand is to show the joy in being together. To hold a lover's hand is to show that we belong. To submit to a warm clasp is to come home. To intertwine fingers is to submit yourself. To find different ways to hold hands is sublime. To hold hands each day is divine. To find different hands to hold is wonderful. To find a hand to hold onto forever is Nirvana.

Hot is Daniel Craig dripping sea water. Or is Hot you standing up to greet me with a smile after a tiring day? I'd say the later for sure! Sexy is Bradley Cooper singing Shallow with Lady Gaga. Or is Sexy you singing to me? I'd say the later for sure! Good looking is Salman Khan romancing heroines. Or is Good looking you gazing at me? I'd say the later for sure! Insanely Hot is Richard Madden playing David Budd. Or is Insanely Hot you jiving to music? I'd say the later for sure! Insanely Sexy is Tom Hiddleston making out on screen. Or is Insanely Sexy you kissing my cheek? I'd say the later for sure! Insanely Good looking is Nico Tortorella and his tattoos. Or is Insanely Good looking you saying Cheers to me? I'd say the later for sure!

Two halves of a whole. I am not respectable, but you think I am. When together, I do want to be respectable. But when apart, I see no redeeming virtues in me. I think you are special, but you don't think so. When together, you feel so special to me. But when we are apart why don't you see that you are indeed special? I see in you immense reserves of strength. When together, I know you have the potential to set off fireworks in your life. But when we are apart why do you settle for the ordinary? I see in you jagged edges. When together, I see your edges fit mine seamlessly. But when we are apart why do these edges make us bleed? I see in you the beauty of a pure soul. When together, this beauty permeates me. But when apart why do you stop knowing this? I see in you what you refuse to see for yourself. When together , I share this vision with you. But when apart why do you doubt?