I believe firmly that a human being's default settings are set to Happy.
Even though we may enter the world squalling and squawking with our faces red and angry, we strive for happiness every moment after that.
Every time we cry, it's to restore a default setting of happiness, when we want to be dry, we cry and when we want to be fed we cry, and when we want to be cuddled, we cry.
Hence my hypothesis that we endeavour to achieve our default setting of happiness and contentment even when we are crying.
In life too, it's similar. Let's mince no words - Life's a bitch! Period.
How we want to deal with it is what makes us unhappy and happy. My mantra is hurt no one and move on as rapidly as possible.
I know it's easier said than done. But it's do-able. Consider this, mostly we never set out to hurt anyone intentionally. Also we never ever do something having decided to fail. But then Shit Happens! And we end up hurting others, or getting hurt ourselves. So cry, leave behind things, pick yourself up, dust your bum, do a push-up, say ok so I lost and move on.
Failure and grief are both dealt with more easily when we learn to take smaller bites. Prioritise correctly, identify what you can change and what you ought to let go. Don't add unnecessary variables. Eliminate what's unnecessary.
We shouldn't have to bear crosses that our not ours. It's a valid point that in the process of getting hurt, or hurting someone else, it's 2 people who are involved. More often than not we bear guilt that is in fact the burden of someone else. We can go on accumulating the sadness of there being a hole in the ozone layer, or of the rain forests suffering through acid rain, or of famine ravaging countries or even of humans committing genocide.
The easiest thing to do when we are swamped, is to try escapism. Escape the trauma and the guilt by diverting yourself.
Watch stuff,
Read books,
Listen to happy stuff.
Watch baby videos .
Watch cute animal videos.
Dance when no one is watching,
Talk to yourself,
Play hide and seek with kids,
Chat up random strangers,
Hold a loved one's hand,
Hug a friend,
Kiss a beloved.
Trust me it helps, but only if you want it to...
My default setting is indeed the Happy Mode. I soldier through everything, even knowing that I have made mistakes and hurt people. I have to! Or else I will be so unhappy that I won't be able to breathe. It's very tough but like I said totally do-able.
Learn to love yourself
Learn to like yourself
Learn to forgive yourself
And most importantly learn to say, " So What?"
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