It is a phenomenon which I first started observing when my niece was born, and we started being extra polite to each other and started referring to each other as " Aap", simply so that she could pick up the correct tonality of language. It's not as though we were rude to each other prior to that, but certainly we were very careful about how we addressed each other and were certain to use, Thank yous, Pleases and Sorrys like they were going out of style.
It led me to think how much nicer it would be if we could use these all the time and lighten the atmosphere. Instead we end up being at our worst behavior with the ones who matter the most and treat them the most shabbily.
The most common place where we could be on our best behavior would be the dining table, and yet it's the one place that we end up being the rudest. "Please pass the salt"; "Thank you for the bread Oh Lord!" etc etc etc.
It's amazingly simple, if we could but try.
- Thanking a higher presence for this opportunity to sit around with family is a great way to start the meal.
- Not taking for granted the efforts of all those involved in preparation of the meal would go a long way too. A compliment, even though false wouldn't go amiss.
I remember going to my Masi's home and in spite of plenty of chapatis being there, my uncle delved into the bottom of the container to retrieve the one my aunt had tucked out of sight, coz it was slightly burnt. When my Aunt told him to have some other one and to leave the burnt one, he said to her,
"This one isn't all burnt, and you have spent time in making it." And the he proceeded to eat the portion that was ok.
It is something that has stuck in my head forever, and given the fact that I still remember it 35 years later, should tell you how much it resonated within me.
I would rather not quote the bad things I have seen happen around the dining table. In some cultures, the person eating deliberately scrapes the bottom of the bowl to indicate that the food was super and he can't bear to leave behind a single grain.
I have heard wives tell tales of their fierce, manly husbands quietly swallowing over-salted food, to avoid making them feel bad.
It is a good thing to remember though, that whoever has made the food, didn't intentionally intend to spoil it. The primary intention is always to feed a meal to a person, who needs to be fed. If along the way the end product hasn't turned out the way it was meant to, let it go. We have all at sometime or the other messed up what we were meant to do, surely if we aren't perfect, we can ignore a few imperfections from others.
Like the bible says, " Let the first stone be thrown........."
Love can be expressed in many ways, but the best way to do it would be to be nice to the ones you stay with, don't reserve the niceties only for the maid you can't do without, or the servers you meet outside your home, or your boss who could easily screw your happiness.
Be nice, coz you love someone and you want them to know that you care.
It led me to think how much nicer it would be if we could use these all the time and lighten the atmosphere. Instead we end up being at our worst behavior with the ones who matter the most and treat them the most shabbily.
The most common place where we could be on our best behavior would be the dining table, and yet it's the one place that we end up being the rudest. "Please pass the salt"; "Thank you for the bread Oh Lord!" etc etc etc.
It's amazingly simple, if we could but try.
- Thanking a higher presence for this opportunity to sit around with family is a great way to start the meal.
- Not taking for granted the efforts of all those involved in preparation of the meal would go a long way too. A compliment, even though false wouldn't go amiss.
I remember going to my Masi's home and in spite of plenty of chapatis being there, my uncle delved into the bottom of the container to retrieve the one my aunt had tucked out of sight, coz it was slightly burnt. When my Aunt told him to have some other one and to leave the burnt one, he said to her,
"This one isn't all burnt, and you have spent time in making it." And the he proceeded to eat the portion that was ok.
It is something that has stuck in my head forever, and given the fact that I still remember it 35 years later, should tell you how much it resonated within me.
I would rather not quote the bad things I have seen happen around the dining table. In some cultures, the person eating deliberately scrapes the bottom of the bowl to indicate that the food was super and he can't bear to leave behind a single grain.
I have heard wives tell tales of their fierce, manly husbands quietly swallowing over-salted food, to avoid making them feel bad.
It is a good thing to remember though, that whoever has made the food, didn't intentionally intend to spoil it. The primary intention is always to feed a meal to a person, who needs to be fed. If along the way the end product hasn't turned out the way it was meant to, let it go. We have all at sometime or the other messed up what we were meant to do, surely if we aren't perfect, we can ignore a few imperfections from others.
Like the bible says, " Let the first stone be thrown........."
Love can be expressed in many ways, but the best way to do it would be to be nice to the ones you stay with, don't reserve the niceties only for the maid you can't do without, or the servers you meet outside your home, or your boss who could easily screw your happiness.
Be nice, coz you love someone and you want them to know that you care.
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