Minia's Mundane Musings

Do you know that in all the days that I have known you, I haven't heard you laugh even once? Do you laugh? Do you find anything funny? Do you have a sense of humor? Oh wait! What? What is that? You find my questions amusing? It's these that are making you grin? Of All the things I say and do, it's my questions which are making you smirk? How come I never noticed that one of your tooth overlaps the other? Just like a lion bringing down a deer. How is it that I never realised how one of your eyes closes almost completely when you smile wide? How did I never realise that your smile starts at your lips and becomes a twinkle in your eyes? How did I never see the twirl you give your moustache when you are shaking with laughter? How could I never know that mirth can be silent too? How many times did you laugh with me and I didn't even know? How many times did you laugh at me and I didnt even know? How many times did you turn away to hide a smile when I wasn...

Fracture I have several fractured bones, Some are just cracks, But the bone is still together. Some of them are more severe and have screws holding the bits together. A piece of  bone is even missing, it was beyond repair you see. I remember each and every time, I remember the pain lancinating through my body, I remember the drugs, I remember the helplessness, I remember the will it took to get me through each time. What I don't remember though, Is the times you fractured me. I can't count how many cracks you caused my soul to have. I don't even know when you caused the fissures in my heart to appear. Were the blows sudden? Were they pre-planned? Did you never know what your actions did to me? Or did you know and simply not care? Do you see this deep crack in my soul? It appeared when you created multiple Orkut accounts. Do you feel this fissure in my heart? You caused it when you cheated. Do you see these wrinkles on my soul? You brought them into b...

All is well All will be well All has to be well. It has to! Life is pretty shitty as it is. So I need to believe this.... All is well, Or All will be well. I can't be a negative Nellie, I can't insist that nothing will ever work out. Because I have to believe that it will all end well. I will meet some rotten apples along the way. But I shall also meet really good people too. I will be treated badly by some. But I know people will also pamper me. I have to believe that all will be well. I know some things won't work out the way I want them too. I also know that some things will fall perfectly into place. I know that there will be unexpected setbacks. But I also know that there will be unexpected windfalls. Just because one happens doesn't mean the other won't. I have to believe that all will be well. I will have some good hair days, And on other days my hair will be a frizzy mess. On some days all that I order will turn out to be crappy. An...

Dear Pain, You have been my companion for more than 10 days now, You have been searing at times, And dull at others. At times you have been a niggle And at times a full fledged maelstrom inside of me. Whatever you have been, You have never been absent. You have made your presence felt with each step that I took. You have been like a possessive lover, Who wants complete compliance, but wants to give nothing away. You haven't been gentle, You have been all consuming, It's time for us to break up. I know you are here for a reason, Had it not been for you, I wouldn't even know that there was anything wrong with me, But I'd like you to be more of a passing acquaintance and less a permanent resident, Please go now that you have done your job. I know that I won't live out my life without running into you, But, please, please, please make your visits shorter, Even if you can't reduce the frequency of your visits, At least reduce the intensity. ...

I will forgive you a lot, I will forgive you anything, I will forgive you everything. But never ever will I forgive your silences. You can bleed me, You can mutilate me, You can humiliate me. I will forgive it all. . . . . But your silences, I will never forgive. You can hurt me, You can whip me, You can ruin me, And I shall still forgive you. But your silences, No! I shan't forgive those. You can isolate me, You can push me away, Nothing will stop me loving you, I will forgive it all.... But your silences are unforgivable..... You can take away your love, You can take away your care, You can take away your respect, I will forget and forgive.... But your silences I shall punish.... You can push me away, You can reject my love, You can tell me not to care, I will still be able to forgive you, But your silences are an unforgivable crime.... You can take away my peace, You can take away my happiness, You can take away my will to live, I wi...

I wish you weren't the first thing I think of when I wake up. I wish I didn't fall asleep with your name on my lips. I wish it weren't only your calls that mattered. I wish it weren't only your messages that I didn't leave unanswered. I wish it wasn't your voice that overrode all the others in my head. I wish it wasn't your face that haunts me. I wish I could stop missing you even when I am in the company of others. I wish I could stop wanting you even when I know you aren't mine to long for. I wish I could think only of your faults and hate you. I wish I could stop loving your idiosyncrasies. I wish I didn't understand your conflict. I wish I didn't understand your need to push me away. I wish I could make you stop hurting me. I wish I could make you stop hurting you. I wish I knew how to share your burden. I wish I knew how to make the pain stop. I wish you would let me care. I wish you would let me love.

Stop Loving The problem is never how to love? How much to love isn't an issue either. The biggest problem is how to stop? Turning on the switch is actually ridiculously simple. Sometimes the switch snaps on. At other times it drops down with excruciating slowness. Sometimes there is fuzzy logic involved. But once the switch is on, you will find it a herculean task to turn it off. However slowly the penny drops, once it is slotted, it's almost impossible to retrieve. The penny at times hits a jackpot, And your life is filled with riches. At times the penny yields nothing and you move on. But the tough part is when it was your last penny, and now it's gone and the casino is the only winner and you are left with less than nothing. Whatever the case, you aren't seeing that penny again. Falling in love is like being at the airport. Most of us are able to board the flight correctly, But some of us end up missing our flights, In spite of doing it all right. ...